Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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