SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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