the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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