That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
