did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
