I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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