Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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