I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
