if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
