we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
