Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
