yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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