Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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