i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
