is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
