ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
