She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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