I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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