I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
