Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
