Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
