I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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