You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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