i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
