i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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