Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
