yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize