Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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