FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
