god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
