I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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