I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
