you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
