I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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