so explain again why im purple
no
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
