You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
