doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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