put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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