Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
