try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
