What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
