yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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