just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
