Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
