dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
