We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
