I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
