whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
