We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
