If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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