I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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