I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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