I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
