you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
