ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
