The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Success! We fucked roommates!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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