We're facebook friends in real life
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
