But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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