this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
