Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
