I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize
