garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize